I recently came up with the idea for a quotes page as a way to keep the site fresh with new content. Since we don't currently have a high flow of new pictures I wanted to create something for all of you that have been checking the site fairly regularly and never seeing anything new. There are tons of great quotes from the past, so please email me any that you'd like to see posted.

"Your cat is gay, and we're going camping!"


"Wow, that really IS extra cheddar."


"That guy just sucks."

-Irish (on Brendan)

"That and it makes me talk more."

-Justan after Shawn's comments about the effects of alcohol

"It's been a while since you cranked it.....and you should probably start the car too."

-Kevin to Justan (on a camping trip & using the car radio for music)

"Ya, but fat chicks can suck a dick though."


"Don't be an idiot Bassett...everybody needs a tire."


"I was only banging them...why would I know their last names?"


"I can show you 8 inches if you blink 4 times and add it up."




"Hey did I tell you about the time I drank motor oil?"


"You must not have much time for masturbating.. with all the stroking you do in other areas"

-Amy (referring to Doug and his ego)

"Women just don't have any morals."

-Matt H.

"I know I'm a selfish bastard but I've come to terms with it and that's all that matters."


"So when is your New Year's Eve Party?"


"Hold on, let me check with congress..."

-Matt H. (on having to ask permission from his girlfriend to go out)

"Why are there two Men's rooms?"

-Jenn at Fat Tuesday

Question: "Do you want me to give you my phone number?"
Response: "That's alright I already got it when I was going through your trash."

-Response by Doug

"Hey did I tell you that I learned how to say 'Superman lives in my pants' in Japanese?"


"A Day Without a Mexican...well that's obviously fiction."

-Doug (upon seeing this movie title at Blockbuster)

"Just let me puke alone!"


"Lesbianism is awesome."


"I'm the Energizer Funny!"


"Isn't Linsey helping Jenn focus kind of like asking for a spotter in the Special Olympics?"


"If it's not furry, there's no hurry."

-Doug (on beastiality)

"I try not to discriminate cuz I'm not like that, you know? But at the end of the day it's like...YOU'RE FUCKING GAY!"

-California Ana

"Dance Monkey, Dance!"

-California Ana

Question: "How was your Easter?"
Response: "You know, the usual...Eggs, Ham & Jesus."

-Question by Justan, Response by Doug

"Wakie wakie, eggs & suh-bakies!"


"Do we have to pay extra for pretty girls?"


Comment: "I'm black from the waste down."
Response: "Wow, you should wipe better."

-Comment by Bassett, Response by Doug

"Sorry about my uncle killing your uncle Charlie."

-Doug (to the oriental stripper)

"Was it wrong that I liked crawling around like a dog?"


"I'm not gonna see his cock, am I?"


Comment: "I kept the ring on the whole time, though."
Response: "That's because your wife lined the inside of it with super glue.

-Comment by Butler, Response by Doug

"If you don't ask, the answer's always no."

-Doug (on anal sex)

Comment: "Get your ass UP!"
Response: "My ass IS up, I'm only 5'4"!"

-Comment by Stripper, Response by Irish

"We lost a WHOLE girl!"


"My butt's getting hot!"

-Bassett (while being drug by his arms down a long hallway)

"The last girl that Butler made scream was his mom giving birth."


"I've seen better bodies at Auschwitz."

-Ron (on Brendan)

"My dad blows the whole neighborhood every time it snows"


"Steel LOVES a good time."


"P. Stacks will take that bet."

-P. Stacks

"Man, this place is so much better at night..."

-Irish (on Vegas)

"I haven't seen a line this long since Jenn was single."

-P. Stacks

"Look at that bartender...damn I would LOVE to never call her again."


"Hey can I borrow your beard trimmer?" "Go nuts!"

-Doug (That one's for you Bayne)

"You can just crop Dougie out, he's got a stupid face."


"Now what exactly does 'anything you want' mean?"

-Irish (to the prostitute)

"During every show she would down a bottle of fifth...wait, what?"


Question: "How come I can smell it from him?"
Response: "Cuz I'm standing right next to him."

-Question by Bassett, Response by Butler

"I saw your wife naked before YOU did!"

-Name witheld for my own safety

Question: "What the hell?"
Response: "You gotta leave it in."

-Question by Brendan, Response by Butler

"Liking musicals and taking it up the ass are two entirely different things!"


Comment: "Red..."
Response: "Black..."

-Comment by Basset (pointing out a hot black girl in a red dress), Response by Doug

"Nice face."


"Hey this girl knows how to say 'Superman lives in my pants' in Italian!"


"There's an amber alert..."

-Donnie (upon seeing a hot young looking chick in the casino)

"Every time I get off the phone with you my face hurts like I've been giving head for hours."


"NO, BAD!!"

-Bassett (After Doug spilled a drink on his crotch & started wiping it off)

"May the bridges I burn light my way."


"Remember when I saw your mom naked? ...That was fun."